One of the reference books in the field of psychology and personal development is the book The top five regrets of dying by Bronnie Ware. Bronnie is an Australian motivational speaker and writer who worked for many years in hospice care, caring for the terminally ill who were treated only for pain relief in the last days of their lives. With her experiences and learning, Bronnie wrote an article that later became the aforementioned book. In it, she narrates the sensations and feelings of people who are very close to death. Bronnie herself affirms that “people evolve a lot when they face their own mortality”. She also notes that she learned “not to underestimate anyone’s ability to grow.” Also, accompanying people in their last moments, she asked them what they would have done differently in their life.
Then I explained the 5 most recurring things that people would have done in their lives or THE 5 CLEAREST REGRETS THEY RECOGNIZED WHEN THEY WERE DYING:
- HAVING LIVED THE LIFE THEY WANTED TO LIVE, NOT THE ONE OTHERS WANTED. Most people, when they see death up close, often regret that they have not fulfilled many of the dreams they had. That they prioritized their decisions based on what others (his parents, his partner…) expected of him than his own wishes or his own intuitions. That is, they regretted not having been authentic enough, not having been faithful to their own interests and motivations.
- HAVING WORKED TOO MUCH. Another of the most common regrets for many people is having worked too much. Bronnie affirms that it is a regret that occurs to a greater extent in men than in women. Many people regret having spent too much time working. Sacrificing quality of life, hobbies, and leisure… and above all family, for working too much. Many are really sad about not having spent enough time with their loved ones, especially their children and partners.
- NOT HAVING SUFFICIENTLY EXPRESSED THEIR FEELINGS. Explains Bronnie Ware that “many people repress their feelings to stay at peace with others. As a result, they settle into a mediocre existence and never become what they are truly capable of being. Many people develop diseases related to bitterness. and the resentment they carry for this reason”.
- NOT HAVING MAINTAINED MORE CONTACT WITH THEIR FRIENDS. Another common regret is not having spent more time with your friends. As Ware explains in her book, “many people have become so caught up in their own lives that they have let good friendships slip through the years.” Most people miss their friends when they are dying.
- NOT HAVING BEEN HAPPIER. Bronnie believes that most people in the last moments of their lives regret not being happier. Bronnie points out that “many people don’t realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They have been stuck in old patterns and habits. The fear of change has led them to pretend to others, and to themselves, that they were happy. When internally they longed to be able to laugh heartily and take life with humor”.
Here are 5 ideas to implement in the rest of your life. May it not be too late for you to live your life authentically so that you do not work too much and have quality time to dedicate to your family and friends. And above all, it is not too late for you to seek happiness as the central axis of your life. Because as Bronnie Ware herself comments: “make happiness a priority and be kind to yourself during the process”.
