Negotiating well is one of the most important skills for enhance your leadership and your personal brand. In fact, we spend the whole day negotiating. With our partner, with our children, with our co-workers, with clients, with suppliers… Almost all of our human relationships include large doses of negotiation. And negotiating is nothing more than trying to get the things that interest you, that is, interacting and communicating with someone to achieve a clear and specific goal.
For many years it was considered that the negotiation processes were based on rational aspects and that each negotiator acted in her own benefit. In the 1970s, the Nobel Prize winner Daniel Kahneman discovered around 150 biases that caused people to not follow rational patterns of behavior in the negotiation processes. Emotional aspects, environment and the negotiation framework exert a great influence. In this sense, to negotiate well, the complex human reality must be fully considered, combining both rational and emotional aspects.
Chris Voss, recognized as one of the best negotiation experts in the world and former FBI head of international negotiation in kidnapping cases, offers the keys to great negotiation in his book “Never split the difference”. I share with you 5 IDEAS FROM VOSS THAT WILL HELP YOU IN THE ART OF NEGOTIATION.
- Build trust and obtain information. One of the main objectives should be to get as much information as possible, both about the negotiation and about the other part. And to achieve it, having a cordial relationship with the other part is key. And above all, get him to talk a lot to discover his needs and desires. And to get the other party to speak, you must build trust.
- Listen carefully and repeat what the other party says. It is one of the best ways to build trust. Actively listen, show empathy, and make the other part see that you understand their point of view. And when the other part feels understood, his trust levels will increase, and it will be easier for him to offer information.
- Tone of voice is very important. In negotiation, how is said is often more important than what is said. Paying special attention to the way you communicate can help a lot in your negotiation.
- Understand the emotional situation of the other part. In the negotiation process you must be very empathetic. Put yourself in the shoes of the other part. Try to understand his emotional situation. And use this understanding to get a better position in the negotiation. Let the other part see that you understand their position and their feelings.
- Do not accept the demands of the other part, do not compromise and do not rush. Take your time, even if the other party is in a hurry or offers an ultimatum. You must be patient and manage timing well in the negotiation. Do not commit yourself to requests that will often be useless or simple distraction maneuvers. Managing timing and patience are key in any negotiation.
Some important ideas so you can negotiate better.
I end with a quote from Chris Voss that sums up the essence of a good negotiation “He who has learned to disagree without being disagreeable has discovered the most valuable secret of negotiation.”
